We all have duties and responsibilities that we must do, but that doesn't mean we have to like them. Life, it seems, does not get easier but harder. When we are little children we dream of what we are going to be like, do and accomplish when we grow up. It felt like we couldn't grow up any faster. And the irony is when we are grown up, we wish we were little children again. We don't want to be grown up anymore because grown people have to go to work. They have to put on fake faces for the world and play by others rules. We have to be grown up. It's funny really, looking at the different perspectives of people.

My life is getting to be very hectic. It doesn't seem that I have enough time to sit and take a breath anymore. Right now I have a very demanding 9-5 job that takes an hour commute both ways. So I am away from home from 8 am to 6 pm. I am also taking three classes online toward my Associates in Accounting Degree. I am taking a math class, English 102 and an Accounting class. The class I hate the most it the English 102. This is the research paper class. And not to mention that I have to do all the reading and learning on my own because it is an online class. I really do not like it. I just hope that I will be able to pass it with at least a C. That's all I'm asking for. So those three classes take up 10-15 hours of my week. Also I am right in the middle of buying a house. We are still waiting to get the banks contract finished so we can get an inspection started on the house and an appraisal done on it as well. There is another thing that I have on my plate worrying me. The whole house issue is really stressful. We have saved up 15K to put down for the house. We just hope that's enough. My wife keeps nagging me about wanting to get pregnant too. She keeps saying that she wants a baby, but I don't know if I could handle a baby right now. Once we move into the house, there is going to be a lot of work that needs to be done. We don't even have a dinning table yet. We had a really small one that we are now using as my computer desk. So when we move we aren't going to have anything to eat on. The couch is good enough I guess. There is more work to be done as well. We are going to have to clean the back yard up and do some fixing in the bathrooms. We are also still waiting to hear something back from the US Department of Homeland Security about Katie's (my wife) permanent residency status. She can't work until she gets one. That would be so helpful when she starts working. We won't have to worry about bills as much. I am due for a raise at the beginning of the year as well (let's hope). But another thing is if we get the house, we will have to terminate our lease early. That means a Lease Termination Fee. Already added it all up and it's going to be somewhere around $2,500! Oh man, I can't get a break. Let's just pray everything works out. All that being grown up means is that you have to go to work and then when you get paid, you have to pay outlandish bills. Some of which you don't even use most of the services you are paying for. But such is life. With all the work, school, house, Government, bills and marriage responsibilities I am having a hard time keeping up with it all. I just wish I can get to a point in my life where I don't have to worry about bills anymore. I don't want to have to say, "Where are we going to get the money for that?" again. Or "I'm sorry honey, we can't afford it." I want to get to a level where I can provide for my family and have some left over for them to have some fun, go on vacations, go places and see things. That's all I truly want. To provide for my family. Maybe that's what growing up is all about. Not just that you have to go to work everyday and pay bills for the rest of your life but that you have something to work towards. A goal if you will, something that makes you get out of bed every morning to put your pants on and go out to face the world. I want to face the world and win. Not to face it and get beaten down by all the problems that we face. I need to find my strength to continue and pursue my goals and live up to my potential. I do not want to be stressing al my life. I will be great. I will succeed. I will win...